I’m At A Loss

If you’re a regular follower of my mommy blog, you’ll probably be thinking, “Where the hell is she? Why hasn’t she posted? And like, why hasn’t her content been that great?”

First of all, back off.Β My life is busy, m’kay!?

I know I’d be confused if I were you. I have a little voice among mommy bloggers worldwide, and to be honest, I’m struggling to find my “angle”.

Do I want to talk about products for moms? Not really. Do I want to provide tips and tricks to new parents? Nah, I’m equally unqualified for this gig. Do I want to complain about all the things that every mom likes to complain about online every. damn. day? Kinda, but only when I really need to vent.

I’d love to go back to basics and really just use this space as a place to journal the day-to-day of my life as a mom.Β Boring, I know, but cathartic.

Some people have talked to me about how they enjoy the honesty, the rawness, and the humour behind my posts, and since that’s the positive feedback I’ve been receiving, that’s what I’d like to focus on. Screw affiliate marketing, product plugging, and helpful tips that mom can share with each other. While those have the most potential to be shared, turn profitable, and “go viral”. It’s not me. It’s fake, and a load of bologna. To be honest, I’m not sure who I am and what I even want anymore.

Pfft, priorities. Being a mom has really plugged up my upward grind.

My background is in marketing, but do I want to continue down that path? I’m not quite sure. Frankly, I find the marketing world to be full of bullshit and I’m becoming a tad jaded towards it all. While I love the idea of making money from it, I find the pressure of executing it to be an extra layer of stress to add my my already overloaded pot of nerves.

It’s a life that I’m slowly discovering that I no longer want and so, I am now on a path to try and discover what I do want. All I really know is that I’m a mother with a drive to succeed, but that’s not all I am.

Right now my absence from this site has primarily been because I just haven’t got the time or energy to crank out a blog, given the fact that I spend my days at the computer writing articles for an entertainment website. It’s not exactly fulfilling, but it pays the bills (most of the time).

All that to say, when I want to focus on my own project, I just can’t bring myself to the keyboard once my article quota has been fulfilled.

The second reason I’ve been absent has been because I just don’t know what I want to write about or share. I have many ideas for blog posts, and my day is definitely not without an entertaining story to tell, but I’m lacking a direction.

I feel like a bird without a nest and I’ve totally been having a bit of an identity crisis.

What do I like? What do I evenΒ want to do? Who am I, really?

*Cue Zoolander duck face, staring inquisitively into a pool of water*

Quite honestly, I feel like I’m drowning in the unknown.

To compensate, I’ve been attending events and get-togethers around the city – meeting with moms and professionals alike – to try and find a shred of inspiration to put me on a life path.

I’ve never really been one to ask for help, but that’s exactly what I’m looking for right now. I need to read all the things, hear all the advice, and be given a few words of wisdom to take the next step from marketer to mom boss.

As a mom (and a perfectionist), asking for help is something that does not come easy for me. What I’d love to know from… anyone, is if you’ve ever struggled to find your thing, if being a parent has ever thrown you off your path (if you have kids), and what steps you took to figure out what you want out of life (or if being a parent completely derailed you from it).

I’m the mom who wholeheartedly believes that she can “have it all”; family and career.

I just need a little push in the right direction, because I just can’t seem to muster the navigation on my own.

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3 Out of 5

I have recently been reading Thrive by Arianna Huffington and, although I’m not too far into it, a bit of text caught my eye and has been sitting in my brain. She quoted Randi Zuckerberg’s entrepreneur’s dilemma. When it comes to being successful within the five key areas of your life – work, sleep, friends, family, and fitness – you must only choose three. So 3/5Β is the magic fraction if you want to achieve success in those areas. If you wanted to be perfect and well-balanced in all areas, then the book indicates that you just won’t get there. You’ll wear yourself thin and then you won’t be successful in any area because you’re not spending the time you need on it. The idea that Arianna Huffington supports and writes about in her book is that you must be a little imbalanced, and accept that you’re not a superhero.

I’ve been craving ultimate success my whole life, trying to make sure that each of those areas gets the focus it deserves. I believe that giving each of them a piece of my attention has worked well for me. I was a firm advocate for being able to have it all! But those days were best lived when I was single and did not have two little ones to tend to.

Now that I have a family, those words by Zuckerberg and the support of Huffington is hitting close to home. It seems as if I really do need to choose three in order to find success in those categories of life’s fulfillment. I just don’t have the time or the energy for it anymore. I need to narrow down what’s most important to me and dedicate myself to them.

Well, the first one is a no-brainer. Sleep. Sleep is most important to achieve success in ANYTHING. At least for me. Some people can function off of five hours and be able to run triathlons and crap. I need at least seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. To get there will take a lot of supportive participation from Sophie and Chloe, and dedication and discipline on my part. When the babies go to sleep, all I want to do is enjoy the sweet couple of hours I get to indulge in adult life. Watch Netflix, take a shower, catch up on reading, play video games, have a beer, scour social media, whatevs.

The second, again, is a piece of cake. Family. I love my little, complete family and want to spend time with them whenever I can, and give them space when it’s due. I want to make sure my babies are reaching their milestones, gaining independence, learning, and are well-fed and happy. I want to nurture them, love and snuggle them, and provide for them. And in order to provide for them, well you see where my third choice is going.

Work. I love what I do and love that my work allows me to do it. I love feeling valued, respected, and proud of the work that I do. I’ve always wanted to achieve success when it comes to my career, and now that success is trickling down to my family.

Choosing three out of five was easy for me, but that doesn’t mean that friends and fitness is not important to me either. Each of those areas in my life are very important to me and I hope to make a little timeΒ for each of them. Even if it’s once a week. I might have to pencil you into my calendar once a month for a weeknight dinner or Sunday morning coffee date. And you might also be competing for a spot alongside my weekly yoga class. Either way, friends, body, you will not be forgotten. I ask that you just take patience in knowing that I love you and will make sure that plans are made to keep you both in my life and in shape.