The Chloe Diaries

I figured it was time to separate the twins, if not physically, than in this blog. After all, Chloe and Sophie are two separate little people, even if they often act like one big, cute headache.

Chloe in a Nutshell

Where do I start with this little drama queen? Chloe was titled Baby A in the womb, and boy does she live up to living in the spotlight, taking first place, and being in the lead. She was the first to be born and stole most of the nutrients and food from her sister – something she still does to this day – well before they were both ready to leave their cushy, submerged home. Because of Chloe’s food hoarding, Sophie did not grow as quickly as she needed to, which is why I was induced. Doctors suggested that they would both grow and thrive better beyond the uterine walls than having to compete for the food haul.

Fast forward to the days where Chloe was no longer a continuously pooping, crying, and sleeping infant and you’ve got a very determined baby who army crawled her way to more food, toys, and cuddles before she learned that her hands and knees were much better means to get around. She was the first to crawl (the legit way), first to walk, and first to protest to things she didn’t like.

Chloe may be hungry and headstrong, but she is also our little helper. Chloe helps by organizing our shoes in the correct order, getting us items we ask for (like a pair of socks), and picking up garbage off the floor, stating “Guh” (for garbage). She also loves to help tidy; putting books on the shelves, blocks in the buckets, and used diapers in the garbage. She does this not so much to help out her family, but because she knows that we’ll be impressed. Chloe is, and always will be, an entertainer.

Even at four months old, Chloe was making the hilarious faces and noises that she knew would get a reaction from us. She’s kicked it up a notch by learning to say funny phrases (like, “no, no” and “Whaaat?”), doing random dances (mostly just enthusiastic foot stomping without rhythm), and making even more bizarre faces (imagine a toddler’s version of a harsh face of disapproval), proceeding to wait for our reaction. If it’s a positive one, she’ll pocket this adorable action, adding it to her arsenal. We honestly love it, but this quality is also leading to a less favourable side of her. For example, if we spend time laughing with Sophie, Chloe’s green-eyed monster comes out, and she is FIERCE.

Jealousy is a major quirk in Chloe that we just can’t seem to tame. It’s so brutal that she’s learned to take preemptive action in certain situations where Sophie might get attention, or literally anything at all.

  • Handing them their pacifiers or sippy cups: Chloe grabs both of them, chooses the one she wants, and gives Sophie the “second choice”.
  • Food: Chloe will stuff as much into her mouth and hands and run away with the rest of it so Sophie can’t get any.
  • Playtime: to Chloe, they’re all her toys and she only shares if she feels like it, or if we make her.
  • Cuddles: Chloe will full-on wedge herself between Mama or Dada and Sophie and push Soph out of the way to ensure cuddles are strictly reserved for her.
  • Tickles: if Soph is being tickled, Chloe will NOT be happy.

Basically, Chloe rules the house. We often try to intercept her protests and “me, me, me” behaviour, but the tantrums that result are hardly worth it. And Soph doesn’t really mind.

Side note: if any parents have advice for navigating this twin dynamic, PLEASE let me know!

Other than Chloe’s need for attention and jealousy, she is also a little social butterfly. She’s not afraid to mingle with other kids or adults and is not timid around animals. Chloe LOVES any and all furry creatures. She’s a little cuddle bug herself, so anything fuzzy and warm she’s drawn to like a Chloe to a cheesy poof.

She takes her blanket with her from crib to table and from the couch to the bath. And concerning the pacifier, she’s definitely more attached to it than Soph. While Soph will happily hand it over when asked, Chloe will run away and whine.

The “terrible two’s” are strong with Chloe, but we know that she’s going to grow up to be a confident, fearless, opinionated, and loveable little girl once she outgrows what feels like is a decade-long phase.

Chloe – our little Chloworm – may be stubborn and temperamental, but she’s our one and only Chloe. When she’s not chucking water on the floor, tossing potatoes at the window, or stealing a stuffed animal or blanket right out of Sophie’s hands, she really is capable of lighting up our whole world with her smile, giggles, and sense of humour.

Next time, on The Chloe Diaries: “These Are a Few of Her Favourite Things”.

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Facts About Motherhood: #58

Fact #58: Motherhood is boring.

It’s never fun to admit something that you’re supposed to keep a secret. Like, the fact that you have hemorrhoids or a third nipple.

There are so many secrets that mom’s won’t admit to that it actually adds more stress to keep the thoughts all bottled up. There is never a good time for moms to confess every thought or worry they had. If we did, we’d be sent to our guilt graves. Or we’d be looking at an epic novel, and not the short and loose dialogue I like to share with you all.

One thing that nobody ever tells you about becoming a mother is how boring it is. Oy, it’s mind-numbing. The moment you have a baby (or two!) is the moment that you enter a black hole of repetition, routines, and lack of spontaneity.

Hey, I’m not knocking down parenthood. There are plenty of joys that come along with raising infants, such as… well, baby giggles are nice. And teaching them things like the word “no” is kind of rewarding, too. All I’m saying is that the load of expectations of what motherhood is like should be busted open like Pandora’s Box.

Here it is, ladies. Motherhood in all it’s glory.

You’re gonna be bored AF sometimes.

Every day is the same cycle of tasks: waking up at the crack of dawn, washing the same dishes and onesies, playing with the same toys, changing the same bums, infinite nursery rhymes. Add the precise moment your toddler starts whining and you won’t even have to look at the clock to know you’re entering their afternoon fuss time.

Now, there ARE things to help you to keep your sanity in check while your little ones examine and toss the same damn toys around. For example, I like to vent about it online. Some moms like to work out. I don’t have such mom friends, but I imagine I’d hate them encourage them to maintain their interests.

Doing anything for yourself when your infants turn into toddlers with ‘tudes will make you feel a lot of feels, especially guilt. Even right now, I could be playing with my girls, but instead I’m doing this. While deep down I know the benefits of doing something for myself, I can’t help but feel like I’m neglecting them. And what’s more annoying is that they’re becoming smart enough to know that. The moment I open my laptop is the moment they start crying out, “Mama!”

 

Mom Boredom should be as much of a well-known term as Mom Guilt; both go hand-in-hand and can suck the pre-mom personality out of you faster than a bottle of wine.

Mom boredom can affect you so much that when you finally are gifted with a break, you simply can’t handle the freedom. You stay close to home and feel like a prisoner finally being released into the wild. This is why so many moms flock to Walmart and Target in their down time – it’s the least likely task that will generate guilt by spending time by yourself. “I’m buying diapers, damn it! I’m still thinking of my babies. Just leave me alone to walk every aisle for the third time!”

Being bored when you’re childless is like being bummed by the fact that you’re lazy and uncreative. Or hating the fact that you have way too much time to relax.

Being bored when you’re a mom means talking to yourself because you can’t talk on the phone with your girlfriends ’cause your baby won’t let you. It means dressing your babies up in endless outfits and taking dozens of photos just to make the hour go by faster. It means eagerly volunteering to go buy milk (or literally anything) the moment your partner comes home from work. “We desperately need more pepper – out of my way!” It means becoming socially awkward because you’ve been lacking in all forms of communication, other than social media. Being a bored mom means that you seriously consider turning to, ugh, Pinterest for things to do.

Nah thanks. I’ll stick to complaining online.