Being a mom is a great part of my life. It’s new, fun, adventurous, but this beautiful job is not a career and it’s certainly not fulfilling my desire to succeed, nor does it make me feel accomplished.
To bring these thoughts out in the open may seem harsh or insensitive to sahm’s or women who dream of conceiving, but to me it’s something I feel like I have to keep my mouth shut about and fake the fullness that children are supposed to bring to my life.
When you become a mom, the world starts to believe that this was your sole purpose. Consider ‘Mom’ to be your only title from here on out. Everything else in your life – career, friends, alone time – is just part of a support system to aide in your primary mission of being the best mom you can be. You may go to work or do something for yourself, but society wants us to feel guilty about it.
I love my daughters, but there is a big part of me that misses my old working life. And no amount of nursery rhymes, baby milestones, or cooking meals for my children will ever replace that.
In the last few months, I have been earning a living through freelance writing. It keeps the food on their high chairs and the shoes on their feet, but it’s not enough. For me, anyways.
Since early spring, I’ve been taking my time to apply to places that are looking for my professional background, experience, and education. I have no problem making it through to the interview phase, and yet the opportunities continue to go nowhere.
I am not ashamed of being a mom and so it will inevitably come up when I start discussing my life and current work. I don’t let the fact that I have children affect what I do. I have help and time and the ability to continue on with my career. Although, I can’t help but think that being a mother is a factor when potential employers are sifting through would-be hires.
Before I had babies, finding work was never an issue. I’m driven, experienced, and can give a good interview. But now it is a struggle.
The only thing that’s changed is the fact that I’m a mother.
Even the opportunities I do get are directed at women who are home with the kids; writing for baby websites and baby products.
I’ll say it again. I’m not ashamed of my children, but it makes me wonder if it’s even worth mentioning during the interview process.
I am capable of much more than being a mom. I pursued a life in marketing and paid good money for that dream to become a reality. The student debt still hangs over me and will be there for a long time. I owe it to my education and life to succeed in the field I am good at.
But it’s not about the money. Our bills are paid and we live comfortably.
It’s about the career. It’s about the passion and the work and the sense of accomplishment. It’s about the company culture and deadlines and clients. It’s about the stress and job well done. It’s about so much more than a salary.
It’s about being fulfilled as a person, and not as a mom.
Employers. Please don’t pigeonhole me for being fertile.
In fact, don’t discriminate against any hardworking, career-oriented mothers. Women are great at multitasking and we’re more than capable of juggling a career and children. Give us a shot. I’m sure we’ll all surprise you.
On a lighter note, this has opened up a new opportunity for me, one that is directed at giving up on finding employment and taking the reigns to create it. That’s right.
I am (slowly) looking to start my own business in providing content marketing services.
It may sound exciting and admirable, but the truth is that I’m terrified to take that step. To sacrifice security and comfort and to attempt something that could fail is something I have to constantly convince myself of being the right decision.
It’s a thought that I have abandoned and resurrected about a hundred times.
All that to say, sometimes us hardworking moms just need to create our own opportunities, and many already have.
To those who don’t let motherhood define them, you’re a rock star. Email me and let me know how you managed to take that next step for you and your family.