Identity Crisis

 

I was finally figuring out how to adult right around the time I got pregnant.

I paid all my bills on time. Started an RRSP. I was buying groceries that were NOT pizza pops, Kraft Dinner, or Alphaghetti. I (sometimes occassionallyย rarely) woke up early to run or read before work. And matured into the no BS, take-no-crap lady-person I am today.

I was discovering new sides of myself. The athletic me. The social me. The confident me. The online shopping me. Within a matter of months, I had to figure out another part โ€“ the mother me.

I quickly went from having it all to having it all covered in spit-up.

The realization that I was (gulp!) a mom just recently hit me. The first months with twins is a blur. You don’t stop for a minute to think, let alone think about yourself.ย Now that I’ve had a little more time to process, a new fear has crept into myย thickening skull. And that is that I will slowlyย disappear. That the me’s that I have built will crumble. While the many me’s are capable of complimenting and living in harmony with one another, the mommy me is like a rabid raccoon, threatening to destroy all other personalities in its path.

“You shall not have friends. You shall not work. You shall dedicate all your energy, time, and undigested food to your spawn. You is tired. You is hungry. You is mom.”

As I near the end of my maternity leave, I have to prepare to smack this part of me that has taken up 100% of myself and make room for the professional me to exist again. Becomeย The Workin’ Momย [< Um. Best new show, bee tee dubs].

Adult me has many sides, including a new facet which now includes a Baby on Board sticker, double stroller, and Costco-level amounts of wipes and diapers.

It’s taken a lot of support from my dynamite partner in crime, squashing of guilt, and pure mental gusto to not let the other me’s be extinguished.

I WILL SURVIVE.

 

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