Ugh. Another mommy blog.
I swore to myself that I wouldn’t let my love of writing and motherhood collide to create yet ANOTHER blog about the miracle that is caring for tiny humans.
But as a previous writer of truths, I feel like I need this. Not only to vent and whip my writing chops back into shape, but because it’s the break for all mothers who look upon perfect Momstagram accounts, vigorously consult mommy forums, and declare, “Well he/she makes it ALL worth it!”.
I’m here to call BS on it all.
As a new mother of TWO infants, I’m only at the edge of the horror that is online mommyhood. New mothers face a lot of pressure. And I’m not just talking about the chest-crushing pressure of not raising a serial killer. Mothers are pressured into making sure their babies reach all their milestones before the average North American baby reaches their own. Mothers have the pressure to whip their bodies into pre-baby glory before mat leave is up. We feel the pressure left, right, and in the centre of our new, saggy muffin top. Social media has made all of this much worse.
Now, I’m not hating on the big SM. I love me some snaps and double-taps as much as the next app addict. But for a new mom, it’s got some serious downfalls. Personally, I don’t know WHAT the fuck I’m doing as a mother of twins. The “fake-it-till-you-make-it” mantra has been my saving grace and the tap I use to guzzle some pride. I frequently turn to the experts (aka, mothers who are strangers) to ask the questions I fear to ask mothers in my own life for fear of being labeled a “Bad Mom” (can we start referring to this as “BM”? Ha).
I follow mommy accounts, subscribe to mommy newsletters, and read mommy-related articles. What I keep discovering is disheartening. Photos of moms making the perfect purees, capturing smiles during bath time, peaceful snuggles, traveling the world, 10 hour naps, full face of makeup, and egad!, never having to change a diaper. And that’s just one mom! Thousands of moms are capturing the same moments. Ain’t no mommy got time for that. On top of it all, moms have a whole lot of things to say when it comes to the photos they see and the articles they read. I’m hitting the reset button and choosing to opt out of it all.
No mom is perfect. I’m doing it wrong, a lot. Everything I think, but shouldn’t think. Do, but shouldn’t do. Eat, but shouldn’t eat.
This morning, for example, I ate a chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. I turned on YouTube to distract my babies while I pooped and did a word search puzzle. As I write this, I am focusing on a personal project instead of tending to the screaming babies next to me trying to get my attention. I’m sure they’ve both shit themselves.
I am not perfect. I was not born into this mommy role. I did not even plan for these two little puke machines. But I am an expat from perfectionism, with a “doing the best I can” mindset.
Also, as much as I’ll joke about the two little girls that I now own, I love them both so very much, they are my new world and new truth, and everything I do is for them. ❤