This morning I woke up at 7 am to a symphony of high-pitched squeals and incoherent babbling. This is the hour my girls usually decide to seize the day. For me, I groggily and reluctantly peel myself out of bed, put on my glasses, and greet the girls.
Some of you may be thinking, “7am! That’s nothing. I wake up at 5:30 am every day. I pump some iron, read a book, make myself a smoothie, and bike five miles into work before you’ve even put on pants.” If that’s the case,
fuck lucky you.
While 7 am is the time the day begins, it’s not the first time I am waking up. Between my hubf (hubby/boyfriend) and myself, we usually get out of bed four or more times in a night. They go to bed around 7:30 pm. We go to bed around 10:30 pm. We wake at 11:30 pm, 1 am, 3:30 am, and 5 am. They don’t require much soothing, but it certainly keeps us from entering a deep sleep. When 7 am rolls around, it may as well be 2 am.
When I peek around their bedroom door to say good morning, the babes give me the biggest smile you’ll ever see. Seriously, you gotta have a baby just to see such a genuine smile. This temporarily perks me up before going to warm their bottles and take a piss.
While the bottles heat up, I put my hair up in a bun for fear of baby tugs and premature baldness and begin the diaper routine. If one has poop in it, I feel guilty for it not being changed sooner. Maybe one of those times in the night they woke up and had pooped and I never realized it oh god I’m a Bad Mom. If there are no poops I feel relieved. Lately, diapering is not as chill as it used to be. At 8 months old, these girls have way too much energy and can’t handle the 30 seconds of stillness required to obtain vaginal freshness. Instead, they decide to roll over and crawl away. Every step of the process is extended by the struggle of continuous flipping and pinning.
Now comes the first feed of the day. If working alone, feeding requires creativity. So I strap each girl into their car seats. One on each side of me, one bottle in each hand, I stare blankly ahead and try to process the first 15 minutes of the day.
I consider making coffee. Not much consideration required.